Why it's so easy (as a caregiver) to just stay at home

Warning of caregiver isolation and loneliness comes early in your Caregiver 101 training. You're taught to start self-care and schedule time for yourself. You're taught to stay continue social activities and keep in touch with friends.

But the common reality with caregiving for a family member with a debilitating disability is, it only becomes a greater responsibility and more time consuming with time. Common prescription for caregiver self care becomes more challenging to maintain.

I live at home with my father (care-recipient), my mom (primary caregiver), my wife (secondary caregiver). How it's worked out in my family dynamic is, I have less caregiving responsibility than the rest of my family. It kinda makes sense, since I work full-time remote.

Compounded Forces Keeping You From Going Out

We already noted, disability and old age mean more caregiving responsibilities over time, but what other factors are at play?

For me it's a quadruple whammy, and maybe you can relate.

1. Caregiving responsibilities for my dad continue to become more demanding.
2. I have a full-time remote job from my home office with mediocre job security. I work from Michigan, and my out-of-state employer reserves the right to "terminate at will without warning".
3. It's November now and the temperature is dropping quickly. The clock just "Fall'ed Back" so since Michigan is on the Western-most part of the Eastern Time Zone, it gets dark so early here during winter.
4. It's 2022 and Covid is still out there, now with more shots and less masks. I still worry and wear masks, and haven't the courage to re-instate my regular pre-Covid restaurant on the weekend.

This is America, and we're an in-home culture. I'm living in rural Gratiot County, Michigan, and I'm ashamed just how much time I spend at home.

Finding Motivation to Get Out of the House

It happens once every couple of months avoiding my friend's calls and texts, where I finally do respond and make plans. My friend's are the ones taking initiative to get me out of the house, not me.

It dawned on me one day to actually count the number of ours I stay at home. As they say, you can't manage what you can't measure.

I get out of the house 6 hours per week. Now there are 168 hours in a week, so 6 hours is a tad over 3.5% of the week. Week after week, about 96.5% of my time is spent under this one roof.

Looking back, how did this happen?

Before Covid, I had an onsite job, an hour one the road to and from the office, and a few restaurants my friends and coworkers liked en route.

Now I'm an in-home remote worker, in-home family caregiver, and stupendous homebody.

Now knowing it's actually 162 out of 168 hours I'm secluding myself from society, I've got a little more motivation to change this number.

If I weighed 162 pounds, losing 6 to 12 pounds would take incredible diligence and will-power. But spending 6 to 12 hours outside of the environment so mundane I'm writing about ti? Yeah, I can do that.