Do You Have Any Unsung Heroes in Your Life?

An unsung hero is defined as a person who achieved great things or committed acts of bravery or self-sacrifice who is not celebrated or recognized.

Yes, I know there are many articles that say we, as family caregivers, are unsung heroes…….we are.  But in this post, I would like to recognize some of the unsung heroes in my life.  I hope it helps you identify and thank those unsung heroes in your life or maybe start cultivating some heroes to brighten your day.

I have a few unsung heroes in my life.  Some I know and some are strangers to me.  So here goes….will start with strangers, then acquaintances, and end with people closest to me.

In a grocery store, I was particularly harried because the day so far had just been one of those bad days.  I was trying to quickly get the few groceries needed to get us through the next few days.  My caree was not with me as I had left him at home.  His safety and the safety of our home were at a bit of a risk.  A few times when left alone, my caree had forgotten a pot heating on the stove or the water run with the faucet over the kitchen counter and floor.  So I was hurrying.  As I was putting my items on the checkout belt, I dropped the blueberry carton all over the floor.  I was embarrassed and was hurrying to pick them up when the lady behind me just started to help me.  It had been a long while since I had received that kind of kindness.  It brightened my day then and still does to this day when I think about it.

I have been decluttering our home so I have fewer things to manage as I take over everything my caree had done previously.  In the summer the garage was a priority. It was full of equipment and boxes of stuff from my caree’s former employment as well as other family stuff.  I mean our two-car garage had not allow a car to be parked in it for a long time.  I contacted one of my caree’s former students to help identify some of the equipment.  This gentleman went above and beyond for me.  He came to our home, identified the equipment, checked that they worked, and informed me of their use.  He also took photos and later sent their brand and names, their worth, who might be interested in having them.  Much thanks to this person to lighten my load with his efforts.

In my last year of paid work, a co-worker really took care of me.  For background, I had been working in a different state for a while and for the last year needed to live in a disability friendly apartment with my caree.  She called me often when traveling to the new apartment from Michigan because she delivered a meal.  She often brought meals to work for our family just because.  She also supported me in multiple other small ways that lightened my load.  Her kindness and understanding of caregiver challenges helped get me through my last year.  She helped me feel important and not forgotten.  May thanks!

When I retired from paid work to meet my caree’s needs, a student of mine wrote me a note thanking me for mentoring her in the pro bono physical therapy clinic.  She will be an excellent physical therapist.  But what touched my heart was her writing that she admired me for the “new” job I was taking on as a full-time caregiver.   That brought tears to my eyes.  I lean on that on tough days.

I have a dear friend that checks on me often by calling, texting, or making get-together plans with our families.  Those checks help me think that someone is out there that gets some of what it is like to be a caregiver.  Knows the burden of it and the need to be seen as a person with some value beyond caregiving.   She gave me a gift card for a massage with a touching message to let that time be used to forget about concerns…let it be a time to just be.

Two of the biggest unsung heroes in my life are my son and his wife.  I am not exaggerating when I say the biggest because they moved back to live with us from China to support me in my last year of working for pay.  He negotiated to work remotely for the same company but lived with us and watched his father when I needed to be in the office.  I could not have done it without them.  Now we all live together under one roof and tag team caregive.  I can honestly say that if they hadn’t moved their lives halfway around the world, my life would be in a very different place than it is now.  I now have complete conversations, laughter, time for myself, better sleep, help with household maintenance, and shared cooking.  These are just a few of the perks.  I also have fewer times of self-doubt, self-harm, and thoughts of suicide.  I can not express how thankful I am for their support.  Truly, truly my….Unsung Heroes.

Now it is your court to know you and all caregivers are unsung heroes.  But it is also time for us all to identify and thank those unsung heroes in our lives because they show us kindness without recognition.