The Caregiver Ant Mill: A Common Cycle of Overwhelm & Burnout

We've talked about feeling isolated amidst your caregiver responsibilities, and we've written word while in a burnt out state, but today we're analyzing how all this happens and what's going on in the caregiver's head.

Did you know 55% of spouses who are caregivers are solo caregivers [1], meaning they take on 100% of the caregiving responsibilities without support.

Not a minute of respite, not another family member to confide in.

That's the whole story they tell you about caregiving, "you've got a world of support!"

But they call unpaid caregivers "invisible heroes" because their day-in day-out deeds remain hidden inside the home.

Any caregiver can find themselves in an ant mill, and the solo caregiver is particularly at risk of becoming estranged from society (alongside the person they care for).

The Caregiver Ant Mill

The term "Ant Mill" describes when an ant gets separated from the rest of the ant. Lost and along, the ant runs in circles until they die from exhaustion.

Yes, it's a real phenomenon observed in nature. The Caregiver Ant Mill can be observed in caregiving households across the United States.

1. Caregiving
2. Stress
3. Burn out
4. Recovery
5. Caregiving

Why aren't I just calling it a "reaching caregiver burnout", "getting caught in a vicious cycle", "getting stuck in a difficult situation"? The Caregiver Ant Mill needs a name of its own because so many caregivers are currently caught in an ant mill and don't know what it is or what to do.

1. You're calm and in control and want to provide good care for your family member.
2. You encounter challenges as you strive to provide good care, which accumulate to become an insurmountable burden over time.
3. You reach a tipping point where you lose composure, maybe an argument with the person you're caring for, maybe just weeping out of nowhere. You withdraw from your caregiving responsibilities, because the challenges are insurmountable.
4. You cope with the insurmountable challenges in whatever way you know you, to get yourself back into a stable mood.
5. You're calm and in control and want to provide good care for your family member.

You've just run one cycle of the Caregiver Ant Mill. Now how many times has that happened to you this year? You're caught in an ant mill.

Emotional Tipping Point and Catastrophic Thinking

If you reach the point of burnout, it can really drive a caregiver crazy. Have you ever said any of these…?

• “I’m sick of it…”
• “If I have to take care of your X one more time…”
• “I don’t know what to do. I just don’t know...”

On top of that, there’s interpersonal guilt. At home, it feels like a one-way street, one care-giver and one care-taker, and damn you resent the person you’re caring for sometimes. Out at Meijer, you worry whether strangers are judging your (in)ability to provide proper care. What if they report me to the “Bad Caregiver Police” because the person I care for isn’t looking great, or because I lost my marbles (aggression or despair) in the baked goods aisle?

The person I care for has dementia, and people who don’t live with a person with dementia don’t know what that’s like. They see things differently. When my dad sees me evil when I try to help, that hurts emotionally. If my dad told the “Bad Caregiver Police” I was evil, that could get our family separated.

Solo Caregiver vs Caregiver with Support

Now you see the ant mill step by step for the caregiver, but let’s remember the care-recipient is in the equation.

As the solo (caregiver without support) goes through the steps of the Caregiver Ant Mill, it does affect the quality of care provided to the care recipient. When the caregiver is in a burnout or recovery state, they do not carry out caregiving responsibilities as well as when in a calm, controlled state.

For a solo caregiver, there’s no backup when you’re burnt out. When the caregiver is feeling down, the care-receiver gets less care.

But for a caregiver with support, a caregiver with family or friends who share in the caregiving responsibilities, when the one caregiver is feeling down, there’s another caregiver who’s able to pull more weight.

Get it? You’re a good person and a good caregiver. Caregiving of a 70+ dude with 20 years of Parkinson’s and dementia might be too much for you alone. The honest truth is when you burnout, both you and the person you care for suffer. This shit is too much for one person.

How does happen?

What does it feel like?

How to get out of it?

The Caregiver Ant Mill is a better way to talk about family caregiver challenges, because it breaks down the cycle into identifiable steps.

References

[1] "Spousal Caregivers Are Caregiving Alone In The Last Years Of Life." Katherine A. Ornstein, Jennifer L. Wolff, Evan Bollens-Lund, Omari-Khalid Rahman, and Amy S. Kelley. HEALTH AFFAIRSVOL. 38, NO. 6: COMMUNITY CARE FOR HIGH-NEED PATIENTS.