Caregiver New Year's Resolutions: Challenge & Change

This Year is Ending….the New Year is Just Around the Corner…..

Do I Follow the Same Path or Try a Something New?

Thoughts about New Year resolutions abound in December as the next calendar year approaches.  For many years, I have not made any resolutions as I tend to lose the resolve to continue the behavior change …..usually by the end of January.  Many of us do the same year after year.  

But this year, the path I am on needs some changes.  Much has happened during this year….

• Stopped working full time because of the increasing needs of my spouse
• Trying to find some balance between his needs and my own 
• Grappling with being ’retired’ and my old vision of what that should look like

These three changes in my life, to me are HUGE changes. The three statements about the changes hide all the emotional turmoil with their neutral phrasing.  My spouse's increasing needs mean my daily routine is not my own anymore….I need to respond to needs for help standing, dressing, foot care, toileting, bathing, eating, picking things up….the list is endless.  His dementia and motor problem-solving challenges complicate this list of physical assistance needs.

For example, sometimes he can stand up from a chair by himself…sometimes not.  Sometimes he can leave the bathroom by himself and sometimes he can figure out how to do it.   These inconsistencies happen from day to day, within a day, and sometimes within an hour or less.  I am craving some consistency…some sameness.  (Aside:  There are many more needs in his care …some are not mentioned to preserve his dignity.)

My spouse is in the very frustrating phase of his disease where he can walk with or without a walker and do some activities of daily living independently or with some assistance but he needs constant supervision for safety.  My family and I have come up with some solutions like respite care, assistive technology, and “tag teaming” his care.  But for me, some changes are needed.

I have made changes to my routine within the last year….I exercise pretty much every day.  For the last month, I have done a multimedia journal. So I have had some success in changing my behavior.  For the next few days, I will be reviewing the last year and have a good think about what is a change that is measurable like the number of daily steps I take. Also, the change needs to be small enough to be doable but meaningful enough to make a change in how I feel about my life.  

At this point, I am not sure if it will be an attempt at an emotional change in how I handle daily challenges or more of a task to find more respite care or friend outings.  

Stay tuned, I have a few days until the new year….it may take me longer to formulate a plan…maybe a whole year to find the thing that made a difference.   STAY TUNED….